Old School Tunes (Larceny)
Aug. 1, 5 p.m.
An unknown subject entered a vehicle near the intersection of Spotswood Rd. and Bickel Ct. in Sterling by damaging a window. They removed a portable CD player from inside.
Convertible Clothing Drive (Larceny)
Aug. 2, 9:08 a.m.
An unknown subject entered a vehicle at the 19900 block of Broad Vista Ter. in Ashburn by damaging the soft top. They removed a duffel bag and a backpack from inside—both contained clothing.
The road to hell is paved in broken glass... (Destruction of Property)
Aug. 1, 6:30 p.m.
The passenger side window of a church van was damaged at the 47900 block of Sugarland Run Dr. in Sterling.
From hogs to hitchiking (Destruction of Property)
Aug. 29, 2:59 p.m.
A motorcycle at Park Pl. in Lovettsville was the target of vandalism, which damaged the radiator and left the motorcycle inoperable.
One of everything please (Burglary)
Sept. 2, 12:00 p.m.
A burglar entered a residence at the 190 block of N. Cottage Rd. in Sterling after damaging a sliding glass door. They removed a laptop, a bottle of wine, a video game system, an MP3 player and a cell phone.
Nothing scares potential criminals more than dog-walking residents (Suspicious Event)
Sept. 2, 9:35 p.m.
A resident was walking their dog near the 44280 block of Fawngrove Ct. in Ashburn when they observed a subject searching through a vehicle. As the resident approached, the subject walked away. The vehicle owner was located. It was later determined that the vehicle was left unlocked. Nothing appeared to be taken.


This Matt guy really is a non-funny (expletive deleted).